The Scary Puppet Show
by The Random Writer
Summary: Just a three part fic about what happens when GIR doesn't get his Scary Monkey Show fix. Characters a bit OOC (GIR's not random enough and Zim is too reasonable). Please read & review, it's the first fic I've done in quite some time! PG for language.
1. Default Chapter

The Scary Puppet Show  
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Disclaimer: I owneth not the rights to any characters referenced in this piece. Zim, Dib, and G.I.R. are property of Jhonen Vasquez and/or Nickelodeon *hiss*. Grrr... Anyway, don't sue me yadda yadda yadda.... I eat small children. )  
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Chapter One  
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It was an uneventful Saturday afternoon. Lightening ebbed across the sky, thunder rolled over the city, and raindrops plipped on the pavement. Yes, an uneventful iboring/i afternoon. GIR sat in front of the t.v., getting his daily fix of the "Scary Monkey Show". The adorable little robot was thoroughly enjoying his program, sending bits of pretzel and candy at the screen during the commercial breaks, and throwing said trail mix into the air when the show came back on. Zim, on the other hand, was not having nearly as much fun.  
"Dammit! If there's one thing I hate it's storms!" he ranted. "And Dib. Definitely Dib."   
Zim sighed in resignation. Complaining would get him nowhere. This, of course, only infuriated him further. The rain had ruined one of Zim's many attempts to take over the world. This failure was especially discouraging - Zim hadn't even put it into motion. "It was such a brilliant plan, too," sighed Zim. "And I'll probably never get the opportunity again." No point dwelling on it. Not one to give up easily, Zim tinkered about his lab, checking over his equipment and security system. Yes, the lawn gnomes were doing a fine job....  
*CRASH*  
...of conducting electricity. Sparks flew, and the power cut out. Zim stared, speechless. Then...  
"A power surge?! In iMY/i lab?! FOOK!!!"  
  
The screen was black. GIR sat for a moment, staring at the screen. No more "Scary Monkey Show". This made GIR very, ivery/i unhappy. He threw the bowl of trail mix at the t.v., screaming "NOOOOOOO! *sniff* I.... I loveded....... I LOVEDED YOU!!!" He fell into convulsions on the floor. As GIR twitched, Zim trudged through the upstairs doorway.  
"GIR, I need you to go outside-" Zim paused, staring at the twitching heap in his living room. "Um, GIR? GIR! Get up, GIR!" Slowly, the tiny mech sat up, eyes glowing red in narrow slits.  
"Master..."  
Zim took a step back, knowing his dysfunctional SIR was armed to the teeth.  
"Yes, GIR?"  
"I WANT MY SCARY MONKEY SHOW!!!" GIR leapt at Zim, clinging to his face. "GIVE ME SCARY MONKEY!"  
"I can't! The power's out, the circuit breaker is in the power shed out back, it's raining, I don't do well with water, and an umbrella would only act as a lightening rod! Now get off, GIR!"  
"NO." shouted GIR. Zim quietly fumed.  
"Get off."  
"NO!!! SCARY MONKIES!!!"  
Zim glowered, and recalled what the Almighty Tallests had told him. i"He's not stupid, he's.... advanced!"/i Now, Zim isn't one to doubt the Almighty Tallests, but sometimes he had to wonder... In any case, GIR clamped down harder over Zim's face, making it difficult for the alien to breathe. He struggled valiantly to push the little robot off his face, but to no avail. Zim grabbed a crowbar from the closet and wrenched GIR off. It was a ... painful experience for both parties involved. GIR glared at Zim. Zim threw the crowbar back into the closet. GIR was useless, but he'd be even worse off in pieces. Zim looked out the window. The rain showed no sign of letting up. He needed to get the power back on line, and fast. He was completely defenseless. Dib could show up at any time, and do..... stuff.... Zim looked at GIR, who was istill/i glaring.  
"GIR, would you like to watch the 'Scary Monkey Show'?" The tiny robot perked up and nodded ferociously.  
"Scary Monkey! I want Scary Monkey, Master!"  
"Then you need to go outside and flip the switches on the circuit breaker." GIR glared.  
"No." Zim was losing patience.  
"That's an order, GIR! Go trip the circuit breaker!"  
"NO." Obstinate little guy...  
"NOW!"  
"NO!!!" GIR jumped up, arming himself with various objects of destruction. Zim cursed himself for leaving his tazer downstairs in the lab. Ha had no choice but to reason with GIR. Yep, he'd be dead before the day was out...  
"Okay, just calm down! Here, look! Zim has sugar! Would GIR like sugar???" Zim tossed a five pound bag of unrefined sugar at GIR, who tore through the bag and began to munch on the sugary goodness. The living room was a wreck, but at least he was busy. Zim approached GIR again, much more carefully than before.  
"GIR, why won't you go and trip the breaker?" GIR stood up, red eyes glaring at Zim. "I'm only asking! Look! Sugar! Eat more sugar GIR!"  
GIR munched, and said "Master should go trip it. It's his fault power went out!"  
"What the heck did I do?!"  
"Overloaded the circuits with the security system."  
"I have to!" retorted Zim, furious. "Otherwise Dib will cut me up or something!"  
"But he's such a nice boy!" Zim smacked his forehead, wondering where he had slung the crowbar. 


	2. Chapter 2

The Scary Puppet Show  
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Disclaimer: I don't own Zim, Dib, or GIR. I wish I did, but they rightfully belong to Jhonen Vasquez and the evil folks at Nickelodeon Studios. Damn them and their ruining of good cartoons. GIVE ME BACK ROCKO, DAMMIT!  
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Chapter 2  
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He was out there. He had to be. He imust/i be. Zim peered out the window. It was dark, and still storming. He was convinced Dib was out there, and Zim would rather idie/i than get caught by that human worm-baby. He glanced back at GIR, who had finished his sugar long ago. GIR was glaring daggers at Zim's back, probably trying to bore a hole through it. Zim's mind raced, trying to come up with a way to get GIR to cooperate. He'd tried everything, from sugar, to caffeine (BIG mistake), to toys... No luck. Damn the "Scary Monkey Show". Zim narrowed his eyes. Perhaps he could find a picture.... or a few pictures..... and rotate them inside a box.... GIR would never know the difference.... Zim grinned at his genius and turned to GIR.  
"GIR! Where's the box the t.v came in?"  
GIR jumped up and ran off. He reappeared, box in tow. At least, Zim thought it was the box... Funny, he didn't remember it having curtains before...  
"Here master!" chirped GIR, presenting the box to Zim, who peered at it critically.  
"GIR, what did you do to the box?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.  
"I turned it into a puppet theatre! See?" replied GIR, as he pulled a string. The curtain rose above the "stage". Seeing his original plan wouldn't work, Zim quickly came up with an unappealing alternative. He had heard of this... puppet show before. Some sort of pathetic excuse for entertainment the humans oogled at (A/N : puppet lovers, forgive me! I love puppets! I imake/i puppets!). Perhaps he could put on a show with puppets. It wouldn't be the "Scary Monkey Show", but so long as GIR liked it.... The idea was most despiseable, but Zim didn't see another option. It was either resorting to human entertainment or letting his paranoiz drive him insane. Instinctively, Zim glanced out the window, just in case. He took a deep breath, and popped the question.  
"GIR, do you have any puppets?"  
"Yuuuuuuup!"  
"Bring them to Zim." GIR gave a salute, and ran off to get his puppet collection. He returned with a load of sock puppets in his arms. Zim picked one up and grimaced.  
"I made them myself!" beamed GIR.  
"I noticed," groaned Zim. He sorted through the odd coloured socks, trying to find one that looked remotely like a... living creature. He turned to GIR.  
"GIR, I have a deal to gi-er, offer you," Zim said through clenched teeth. He, Zim, Invader Zim, trying to bargain with a SIR! He glanced out the window again...  
"Can I shuffle the deck?" chirped GIR. " Pleeeeeease???"   
"Er, no. I will put on a.... puppet show entertainment thing for you if you promise to go outside and trip the circuit breaker." GIR looked thoughtful, (God forbid...).  
"Scary Monkey?" he asked, finally. Zim shook his head.  
"Noooo.... puppet show," on a gamble, he added, "Better than Scary Monkey." GIR's eyes widened.  
"WHOOOO HOOOOO!!! Okay!" GIR plopped down on the floor in front of the box/stage with a bowl of trail mix. Zim stood there, not quite sure what to do. GIR glared at him, and Zim quickly picked up the puppets and disappeared behind the curtain. Hey, how hard could it be? 


	3. Chapter 3

The Scary Puppet Show  
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Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own GIR. Or Zim and Dib. Damn. They belong to the spectaculary twisted Jhonen Vasquez and the minions of Satan at Nickelodeon Studios. HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY RENN AND STIMPY!!!  
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Chapter 3  
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An hour later....  
"How long is this puppet show thing supposed to last?!" GIR was enjoying himself immensely. Zim had done everything he could think of. He mostly tried to recreate bits he'd seen on t.v., including everything from infomercials to "Sifle & Ollie". "Dammit, I'm out of ideas!" Zim got up. "GIR, I-" GIR threw trail mix at Zim.  
"Shhhh!!! I wanna hear the theme song!"  
"Theme... song?" asked Zim.  
"Sing! Sing the theme song! SING THE THEME SONG!!!" Zim ducked behind the curtain to avoid the shower of trail mix.  
"So he wants a theme song, eh? iI'll/i give him a theme song! A theme song fit for ZIM!" The curtain rose, and a single puppet appeared on the stage. It imight/i have been a dog. Zim cleared his throat, and began to sing...  
"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doomdoomdoom. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doomy doom doom doomy doomy doom doom doom doom doom doom *doomy doomy doomy doom* doom doom doom *doomy doomy doomy doom* doom doom doom doom doomdoomdoom doom DOOM!" With that said, Zim stepped out and took a bow. GIR bounced around screaming "DOOM!" while cackling and clapping in delight. Zim caught himself bowing.   
"What the hell am I doing?!" he straightened. "GIR! Go trip the circuit breaker. NOW!"  
"Yes, Master!" The tiny robot saluted, and bolted out the window, breaking it... Zim could only hope GIR wouldn't screw up.  
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A few hours later...  
"Ahhhh... much better," sighed Zim happily, watching his lawn gnomes. "My yard is Dib free". He stood up, prepared to call it a night. Zim walked upstairs, his eye catching the puppet theatre, still on the floor, surrounded by puppets. GIR was snoozing on a pile of puppets. Zim grumbled quietly to himself (mrr...no one ever cleans up....I do all the work....etc.) while he picked up the SIR and placed him on the sofa. He then dumped the puppets into the box/theatre and picked it up. I hadn't been as bad as he thought... it was actually... kinda fun. Zim picked a puppet out of the box and looked at it. It might've been a dog. He began to walk out of the room when he heard GIR mumble something in his sleep.  
"mmm.... puppets.... like puppets.... must...watch....Scary... Puppet.... Show.... everyday.... or........ DOOM... *snrg* mmmf..." GIR curled up in a little ball, and Zim ran screaming from the room.  
  
Fin. 


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